5 Questions to Ask Your Partner When Retirement Planning

Most couples spend years planning for milestones like marriage, children, career growth, and where they want to live. But one of the biggest life transitions – retirement – is often left out of the conversation.

Retirement goes far beyond finances; it’s about envisioning an entirely new phase of life. For a transition of that magnitude, it’s important to also talk about the financial, emotional, logistical, and social aspects that come with it.

To help spark that retirement planning conversation, here are 5 questions that you can use with your partner to help shape your vision for the future together.

1. What are the top three things you want to experience in retirement?

For some, retirement dreams could include traveling to every continent, living abroad or owning a boat. For others, it could look like learning a new skill or pursuing hobbies they didn’t have time for before. Try to answer this question individually before sharing with each other. It is interesting to see if you have shared items or maybe different priorities that are important to discuss early.

Couples often find they agree on the broad vision for retirement but differ in how they want to spend their time or money. Knowing what is most important to you and your partner will help build your collective retirement goals and know where to prioritize to support each other’s dreams.

2. What concerns or expectations do you have about how this will impact our daily life and relationship?

For people who are used to a full-time work schedule, going from only spending a few hours a day with your partner to being around each other 24/7 can be an adjustment. And for some, the loss of structure and routine that work once provided can be a source of anxiety or tension.

Research has shown that marital stress increases during the initial two years of retirement, especially when the husband retires first. Once factors like busy work schedules or raising children are removed, unresolved issues could become more apparent. Addressing concerns or expectations you have about this next phase of life, before you are in it, could help address pain points before they become bigger problems.

3. If we could realistically live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

For most people, where you live is often based on factors such as proximity to your workplace, schools, or family. Retirement brings a potentially exciting opportunity to relocate or reevaluate what “home” looks like without those considerations.

Some have dreams of moving somewhere warm all year round, some may want to move closer to their children or grandchildren, or some may want to stay put in their current home forever. Others might dream of owning two homes and splitting their time throughout the year. For more considerations when buying a vacation home, read our blog here.

Since your home is one of your largest financial assets, making sure you and your partner agree on where you want to plant your roots in retirement is critical.

4. When we are unable to live independently, what would our ideal next step be?

Dreaming of your travels and experiences you will take with your partner in retirement is the fun part. The not-so-fun, yet equally important, part of retirement is making a plan for when you and your partner are no longer able to live independently.

One partner may envision aging at home, while the other may prefer the support and community of a senior living environment. The best thing you and your partner can do is map out those ‘what if’ situations, before you are in them. 

Some options could be:

• Transitioning to a senior living community. Many offer a range of support from semi-independent or limited support to more advanced medical care to meet your needs as you age.

• Contracting in-home care. While expensive, this option could ensure that you and your partner can remain in your home where you feel most comfortable.

• Moving in with a family member. For many cultures, this is seen as the traditional route. But for others, this could be a large burden. Discussing this option ahead of time ensures all parties share similar expectations.  

As you age, medical and long-term care costs can become one of your largest expenses. Identifying your wishes ahead of time, can ensure that you can build your retirement plan accordingly.  

5. How much do you want to spend on kids or grandkids?

A goal for many retirees is being able to provide financial support for their children, grandchildren or other friends or family. But to what extent do you want to support?

For example, contributing to a 529 account could be a great way to support a child in your life save towards continuing education. However, 529 plan rules for grandparents are slightly different from parents. See here to read our blog on Navigating 529 Rules for Grandparents.

Supporting others financially while you are in retirement can be incredibly rewarding, but not if it jeopardizes your own financial security. A financial adviser would be able to work with you to determine how much and what method of support you could give to others while protecting your own future goals and needs.

Coming Together to Plan Your Dream Retirement

Building your dream retirement goes far beyond just saving enough money. It’s about creating a shared vision for your future, and how you are going to use your hard-earned savings to fulfill those wishes.

Open dialogue, goal setting, and support from a financial adviser can help bring confidence as you and your partner step into this next phase of life. If you would like to get connected with one of our advisers, click here.